Because when I’m blaming them, I’m not doing it because they need to improve; I’m blaming them because their shortcomings justify my failure to improve.
Knowing the material Self-betrayal leads to self-deception and “the box.” When you’re in the box, you can’t focus on results. Your influence and success will depend on being out of the box. You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people. Living the material Don’t try to be perfect. Do try to be better. Don’t use the vocabulary—“the box,” and so on—with people who don’t already know it. Do use the principles in your own life. Don’t look for others’ boxes. Do look for your own. Don’t accuse others of being in the box. Do try to stay out of the box yourself. Don’t give up on yourself when you discover you’ve been in the box. Do keep trying. Don’t deny that you’ve been in the box when you have been. Do apologize; then just keep marching forward, trying to be more helpful to others in the future. Don’t focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you can do right to help. Don’t worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you are helping others.