https://forge.medium.com/psychological-reactance-why-you-sabotage-our-own-goals-f473c2df47a3
You may have scheduled time for something that you legitimately want to do — say, work out or read a nonfiction book. But when it comes time to do those things per your schedule, you might feel a bit of reactance. This happens because, in that moment, it doesn’t feel as though you’re deciding what to do. Rather, it’s you from the past giving orders to you present self. Ugh, who does that guy think he is?
To disarm psychological reactance, change the way you talk to yourself. Instead of thinking you “have to” do something, tell yourself you “get to” or even “deserve to” do it.