For well over two years, we had some privacy panels sitting in a box in the garage. They kept getting pushed off in favor of other projects or obligations. I did not have any fear around the project, as I do with some and I am keen to keep an eye on what I am fearful of as that always leads to some good self-improvement. This was strictly a priority problem. With my sabbatical, I did not want to use up my entire time for projects but did want to make some additional improvements to the outside space before it got too cold.

“The satisfactions of manifesting oneself concretely in the world through manual competence have been known to make a man quiet and easy.”

During my time off, I played a few records. One in particular had my brain spinning on memories of being 19 years old. Mazzy Star was a big part of my youth. I collected all of their albums and one song in particular is still a favorite, Blue Light from their album So Tonight That I Might See. I have never been high before, but Blue Light is about how I imagine that must feel.

Old fashioned cocktails are a very personal thing. Everyone has their variation. For me, getting into alcohol much later in life, I have been able to try a better old fashioned from nicer restaurants. I do enjoy trying one from new places to see how they make it. This does lead to the occasional old fashioned that is made with too much fruit forward and a splash of soda water to fill the glass. That is not what I am looking for.

This is a book I had been meaning to read for about eight years. I have heard so many different people sing the praises of Tara Brach, but I had been putting it off far too long, not wanting to face the hard parts of my brain and self-image. I cannot think of any scenario where I would not recommend this book to everyone on this planet.

You will be happier in life if you measure success by periodic forward progress and not by a specific goal to be attained. It is like the saying, it is the journey, not the destination. Enjoy the process.

I had taken the last two weeks of September off from work. Originally I intended to just step away from work. There has been so much change over the last six months, I just needed a breath and a break. I kept getting asked where I was going and had to sheepishly explain nowhere. About halfway through my vacation, I realized I was taking a sabbatical. I have been with my company for almost seven years and have seen it go from a small startup to a large public company. This change required a tremendous amount of adaptation on my part and energy invested into moving things forward. I am tired and need some space before I must adapt to the next phase.

Social media is not for me. This isn’t a lecture about how it is bad for society and your mental health. It is. This is my personal experience with social media. When I have had accounts in the past, it has been strictly for my validation. The idea that I can present some compelling version of myself that others will find neat is a big boost to my sense of self-worth. The validation is overwhelming through likes and comments and any attention others are willing to give me. It sounds very childish to admit that, but I know we all have our struggles and this one is mine. The last thing I need is a platform to make my struggle measurable. This is my biggest reason for not participating in social media. I realize a lot of benefits beyond avoiding my validation needs, but this is the focal point for what drives me to not participate. Even on this website, I do not track visitors or have any sense of how many people stumble upon it or read it because that just feeds the worst part of myself.