I had taken the last two weeks of September off from work. Originally I intended to just step away from work. There has been so much change over the last six months, I just needed a breath and a break. I kept getting asked where I was going and had to sheepishly explain nowhere. About halfway through my vacation, I realized I was taking a sabbatical. I have been with my company for almost seven years and have seen it go from a small startup to a large public company. This change required a tremendous amount of adaptation on my part and energy invested into moving things forward. I am tired and need some space before I must adapt to the next phase.

Social media is not for me. This isn’t a lecture about how it is bad for society and your mental health. It is. This is my personal experience with social media. When I have had accounts in the past, it has been strictly for my validation. The idea that I can present some compelling version of myself that others will find neat is a big boost to my sense of self-worth. The validation is overwhelming through likes and comments and any attention others are willing to give me. It sounds very childish to admit that, but I know we all have our struggles and this one is mine. The last thing I need is a platform to make my struggle measurable. This is my biggest reason for not participating in social media. I realize a lot of benefits beyond avoiding my validation needs, but this is the focal point for what drives me to not participate. Even on this website, I do not track visitors or have any sense of how many people stumble upon it or read it because that just feeds the worst part of myself.

Many of my more extreme behaviors, both good and bad, are a result of not accepting me as I am. I have this sense that a desire to be better or improve myself stems from a dislike of who I am now. So I have worried that accepting who I am would undermine my achievements and my drive to be better. My competing worry has been that this is a false narrative and I am holding myself back.

I live in a neighborhood that is about 27 years old. Of all of the places I have lived, this one has the flakiest power. I presume it must have something to do with the age of equipment, maturity of trees, and Midwest storms. We have had several 4h, 6h, and even a few 12h+ power outages. These longer ones have resulted in a few situations where we had lost the contents of our refrigerator and freezer. Feeding a family of seven required a fair amount of food and subsequent meal planning and storage.

The Church of Minding One’s Own Business by Austin Kleon

With the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, it was a time worth reflecting on. Not only being thoughtful about the memories and sacrifice of those who perished on that day but also reflecting on my experience. I had worked remotely at that time and it required the remote employees to travel to Seattle once per month for a week at a time. I happened to be up there during that week.

Football season is here and though I am a fair-weather Colts fan, I do enjoy the social fun of watching a football or hockey game. Doing this outside is something I could get behind as the weather cools off. My friend has a very nice outdoor space with an outdoor television made to survive the elements. He had let me know, that you can go that route, get an outdoor enclosure for a television, or use a cheap television and make sure to bring it in when you are not using it (or if you forget and need to replace, it will be much cheaper than the other options). I went with the cheap television option and had 24 hours to get a television up and running outside before week one kick-off.

I cannot remember where I had seen this, but it keeps resonating with me this past week. This is what I would tell myself twenty years ago if I were willing to listen: